Whew

I've been neglecting much writing of any kind lately. Not that I've been particularly busy; I don't know quite what it is. Except that it's probably not depression. I know some people mark their happiness or unhappiness by how much they're writing. And I've been writing in journal-form since about the age of 10. But there are phases. Heavy-writing and non-heavy-writing. I used to think it was linked to happiness.

Now, rather, I believe it's linked to sunlight and community.

My community as of late was been my workplace crowd and the bits and pieces of scattered friends and family around the globe. The friends and family one has been lagging. Always the one to be good at keeping in touch, it's odd not to be that person. Just got exhausting and maybe some self-esteem built up for myself. No longer do I need those connections to feel secure in myself. It's nice to mature sometimes. If indeed that's what it is.

Sigh.

Although not written down, there have been a myriad of thoughts swirling in my brain. About the near future, about the friends and relationships changing, about the distant future. So many are getting married. I hope, hope, hope, that they don't follow the route more than half the population in the US is following, and divorcing. But being real, there must be some that will. My people are not an exception to the rule, no matter how I hope. And so I'm wondering who will be having kids then divorcing, remarrying, divorcing again. And who will divorce before children. Talk a out a downer.

Then there's the thought, what if this generation is will act differently? What if, because of war and young men and women dying overseas as the norm, 9/11, economistic woe, and a general negativity toward marriage, makes us more likely to be committed to marriage relationships (when and if we do finally dive in) than our older examples?

Maybe I'm just trying to justify my hope.

:)